Denial 1 - What me worry?

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What! me worry?

After 65 years in print, I just read that MAD magazine restarted their issue number back at #1 for April 2018. So what better way to start a lesson on denial than featuring Alfred E Neuman masks with the catchphrase, "What! Me Worry?"

I've realized over the past few months that my mask is broken. Trying to smile through the frustration, depression and anxiety has gotten so fake, people seem to think that I am being fake.. which the point is, I am being fake! But there isn't often a safe place to be honest anymore.

Since the "What! me worry?" mask is no longer working, it's time that I face and admit my denial.

What are you hiding?

As a kid, when it was my time to wash the dishes, sometimes I'd hide some so I could get done faster.  As an adult, I throw trash under the floor mat in my car when I am giving someone a lift. We all have something that we think we are hiding, but you know my parents knew about the dishes, and my friend could smell the cigarette butt under their feet.

The Living Bible translation of Jeremiah 6:14 says, "You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there." I don't know how many times I've wanted to hide this blog, stop being honest, or delete it all together - and I haven't even really started the steps yet.  How would I get better if I keep "faking it til you make it?"

A pathway to peace

The NIV version translates the verse another way - "They dress the wounds of my people as though it weren't serious. 'Peace, Peace,' they say, when there is no peace."  If you are at the point that your life has become unmanageable, you know the first thing you want is some peace. But it may not be bad enough for others to recognize it as a "real" problem.

People around you may love when you are falling down drunk.  They may cheer your ability to eat a whole calf in one sitting. Or they may enjoy mocking you... because according to them, you are the one who can't take a joke. They don't think it is a big deal!

So, I am setting my sights on the peace and healing for the damage that I've been pretending didn't exist, taking off that mask, and stop being MAD.

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