Hope 3 - A new way to read the Bible

My other way to cope

Of all my bad ways to cope with my problems, there is another coping mechanism that I don't often share with people. Growing up going to church, you would think it would be considered an acceptable coping tool, but you'll be surprised to find out how even Christians find it offensive.

Often when things are about to get bad, I have this overwhelming urge to read and study my Bible and pray. Now, I know this sounds like some Bible-thumping, hyper-spiritual scam, but so far I've been honest about my hurts, habits, and hangups so you should realize by now that this is for real stuff that is taboo in most of even the Christian world.

It is when things get really bad and all of the advice and platitudes of people just don't cut it anymore that drives me deeper into God's Word. Finding that the Bible often says things that aren't taught from the pulpits and within Christian circles is both a hope for me, as well as something that make others cringe.

It says that?

Of course, for the most part, I've been depending on Google to help me overcome some problems in my life - some things work, some things don't. But when dealing with abusive situations, and especially divorce, most of the advice I have been getting from my "brothers and sisters in Christ" have been far from what is Biblical. Kid's Sunday School hardly touches on the great many issues that Bible characters had back then that are the same as today.

Sometimes, though, it is not the top layer of the story that gets me what I need to have a new way of thinking about a situation. Sometimes, I have to get into the Hebrew and Greek behind the Old King James' English. Then sometimes, I find a gem of a word like "repent" that has been disguised in common Christian thought and teaching as something damning when it is liberating - no wonder the religious attacked John the Baptist and Jesus for saying "Repent" while the lost flocked to them.

The word "repent", I found, does not mean to feel deeply remorseful and guilty for all the bad you have done.  Some Bible teachers may even explain that it means simply to have a change of mind - often a 180 degree change, as if every single thing you do and think is horribly wrong. But going into the root meaning of the word, then going into the root meaning of that word, I found that "repent" actually means to be "open and forward minded".

Open to repent?

They say Einstein claimed that insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different outcome. Most of the preaching (both in and out of church) that I've heard regarding all my hurts, habits, hangups often lead me through that same insanity. "White knuckling" it through an addiction, "smiling" through an abuse, "hiding" from the truth, and "wishing upon a star" and calling it Jesus are some of the insane things I've been advised to do - and the problem rarely goes away, and usually becomes worse.

But repenting, that is, being open to a change that is beyond the wisdom of the world and my own experience, that is (kind of by definition) something I've never thought of before - and few others have. Paul writes to the Ephesians about this in chapter 4, verse 23, "Now your attitudes and thoughts must all be constantly changing for the better. Yes, you must be a new and different person."

I've gotten away from my Bible studies lately, which is probably why I've been such a mess. Taking the word of others who pop up a verse here or there and tell you what it is supposed to mean to you may be enough to get you to straighten up and listen, but I'm a bit more rebellious and reluctant to believe what others tell me, I need to study it for myself to find out what they say is true and maybe find some jewels of my own that will open me to change.