Hope 5 - Do not quit yet

Is it worth it?

Last week, before the worship music began to play at Celebrate Recovery, I got the opportunity to speak with a guy who was struggling.  I didn't find out what he was struggling with as far as addiction was concerned until much later, but it is something that a lot of us struggle with - even me!

It's the struggle I deal with every day I go to work, every time I go to church or CR, even every time I sit to write these blog posts. It's the struggle of wanting to quit - either I've had no breakthrough in my HHH (hurts, habits, or hang-ups), or, even worse, I've had such an amazing change I feel like I don't need this anymore.

I honestly admitted to this young man, that I struggle with that, too.  I also admitted that the only thing that keeps me continuing on is knowing that the goal is much greater than I believed it would be in the beginning of my journey.

The art of deception

From second to sixth grades, I went to a Christian school.  The hardest part of the studies was memorizing the Bible verses.  Although I did have some difficulty remembering the words by rote memory, my real problem was that the Old English words and phrases in the King James Bible were so unlike normal English in the 20th century that I wanted to know more about what I was repeating like a sheep.

What I've found in CR is that many people see it as a "program" - that if you put the time in (sometimes by court order), then you get a nice shiny chip at the end. As I was talking to this young man, I told him that he had to do this walk for himself, otherwise he will see no reason to continue.  As the words came out of my mouth, I realized that I needed to do this for myself too.

When I was picking a picture for this article, I searched for the word "quit", and guess what I found? 100 pictures of crushed cigarettes - as if that is the worst habit anyone could have. Although that is one of my vices that I am looking to deal with, I know that if I simply "quit" the underlying issues won't just magically go away. Since I am doing this for me, the simple word(s) are just a self-deception.

The art of expectation

So, I chose a different picture - a picture of someone who isn't quitting. A picture of a guy who is in better shape than I am, who keeps pushing on. That's because, when I look around at my current situation, I see that things are much better than they were a month ago - but not even close to what I expect God has in store for my life.

In Philippians 1:6, I read what God expects, "I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns." The fact that I went back to CR of my "own free will" may be a self-deception, but the changes I've seen around my life is a certain beginning of God's work in my situation.

Those changes in my personal life, that are undeniable to me and those others around me, have renewed my hope and faith that God does care for me, and that things can and are changing for the better. This "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." (Hebrews 11:1) What I have found in past rounds of CR is, much like an onion peel, although I've been amazed at the recovery God has performed in my life before - each time is greater than the past and totally unexpected. So even though this is Celebrate Recovery Again, I have no idea what the outcome is going to be in the end. I only expect that the change will be greater than I can imagine!