Powerless 8 - Selfish or Selfless

-

Give me, Give me, Give me

A few weeks ago, I heard a man say that he only prayed to God when he wanted something.  This concept is admittedly confusing to me.  Of all the the commandments and "hard to understand" things in the Bible, the hardest verses for me to put into place in my life are "You have not, because you ask not... ask and it will be given... if you ask of anything in My Name it will be given to you."

From years of codependent groups, introvert friendships, and depression healing, the concept of selflessness is the other side of the selfishness coin which is equally damaging.  I learned that, at some level, selflessness is a type of selfishness when looking like false humility. To a point that may be true, but is minimal for me.

Self - less

I honestly want to improve my surroundings, environment, and relationships.  I always have! Perhaps it is a bit selfish to want a world that is run by Biblical principles. But that is my sincere desire.

Unfortunately, the world is not like that. But what's worse is that it bothers me to a point, that I give all I have - my talents, money, emotion, energy - to a world that does not want to change. In this "good" pursuit to create an environment that I want to live in, I become drained of all I have and all I am.  So I shut myself off - not giving the way I am, and simply surviving in spiritual and economic poverty.

Giving back

The problem that I realized is that, I am not supposed to give all I have. When you consider saints like Mother Teresa and others, they did not have great wealth to give to all - but what they gave came from One who is greater - through them to those who needed. I'd forgotten that I can only give from what I have been given - even the tithe Abraham gave to Melchizedek was a tenth of the victory that God won for him.  It wasn't a tithe of Abraham's business earnings, his flock, or his crops.

As I prayed the morning August 23, 2016 on the way to work, "Lord, I don't have much of anything to give, but if You'll have me, it's all yours - my way doesn't work" I had realized that all the good that I tried to do on my own accord was not enough. I hadn't been going to church for years, I wasn't hitting rock bottom, I didn't really have people "speaking into my life." I was just driving on my way to work, and Something made me pull over, and cry out to God to give my life over to Him.  I'd said "the prayer" when I was six, did all the things I was supposed to do - but this was the Day that the Lord hath made for me to give it all!

"Whoever clings to his life shall lose it, and whoever loses his life shall save it." (Luke 17:33) I won't say life was easier from there.  In fact, it got worse than ever! But the worst was when I forgot that it all comes from Him - my skills, money, intelligence all blown away, but with Jesus, I've got all I ever needed and an abundance to give unselfishly! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Powerless 2 - Labeling the dimensions

-
Image
The labels we put on ... others As we go around our Celebrate Recovery small group circle, we introduce ourselves: Hi my name is ______, I am a believer in Jesus Christ, and I struggle with ______. When I switch to the teaching phase of this blog, I'll go into some more detail about why that format is so important. Yesterday was "May the fourth", and as I mentioned before, I am a "computer guy". Well, that is how I am labeled by others, and I was amazed, myself, that I had let the holiday of the greatest sci-fi story pass me by! It's as my label of "Hello my name is SUPER GEEK" had fallen off. But there are several labels that people have put on me. Some kind, some not so kind. Depending on the label they have of me is the stigma that they treat me with.  But one thing that has come to my attention lately is that whether they love me or hate me, most say the same thing that makes me seem unapproachable. The labels we put on ... ourse...
Read more

Relapsing without Substance

-
Image
Saying No to Hurts Habits and Hangups Substance Abuse One of the stigmas of most recovery programs is that you have some sort of substance abuse problem. "Sure, I can quit any time!" we may tell others - and even ourselves. My first visit to Celebrate Recovery, I remember saying to myself, "What on earth am I doing here?" I was not an alcoholic or drug addict.  I had the same mindset that most have about these types of programs that you needed to have an overwhelming addiction to some sort of substance that has ruined your life, your family, and possibly landed you in jail or on the street. The long river of De-Nial "A little view of flesh won't hurt me. I'm a straight man after all."  "I'm going to grab a quick smoke to take the edge off." "I can't start the day without a hot cup of coffee." Although I didn't come home late at night, stinking of booze and another woman's scent, I did have some vice...
Read more

Sanity 4 - Back to the garden

-
Image
Simply Living Growing up, we had farm animals as well as a few acres of garden.  We also had a great amount of wilderness to escape to, hunt in, and build tree houses in. With the fad culture of organic and raw living found in nearly every grocery store around me, I'm reminded the real work that is involved - not just checking the fruits and vegetables on the shelf for an "Organic" label. I don't think I need to detail what I needed to do if I wanted chicken for dinner. Escaping the hardness of true country-life (not the thing that mainstream redneck culture it has become) I found shopping an enjoyable experience.  However, the desire to have my own little garden in my 1/16th of an acre parcel became my refuge 2 years ago. The smell of the fertilized dirt over the asphalt and tar, began to revitalize me and nourish me more than any vitamin or supplement ever could. Pruning the unknown With a much different climate and lack of ability to plant a "real...
Read more