Powerless 9 - The call from jail

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Go directly to Jail

Do not pass Go! Do not collect $200! Sure that monopoly card had to really rub it in that you are going to be stuck for a while!

I went to a discipleship years ago with a couple guys who had been in and out of jail. One of them told me that I would never know God or freedom because I've never been to jail. I wanted to say that they had lived a worldly free life and that's what got them into jail - but the invisible prison that I constantly am in kept me from being able to say that before he hung up.

The Separation

It's clear by now that I have living in solitary confinement - feeling unable to deal with the torment of the world, I've built several walls up around me, not letting many in - if any at all.  So even though my realization that I had cut myself off from God, I've also cut myself off from others - a jail without bars, without windows, and much darker than any my ex-con friends could imagine.

The Promise

Even though I was closed off, there was still a nagging for me to break out. In my cave of safety, I had convinced myself that God had used me up like so many others in my life had done before - just waiting for me to slip up (which I did), to have an excuse to leave me - just like everyone I ever known had done... at least in my mind.

"For I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from his love. Death can't, and life can't. The angels won't, and all the powers of hell itself cannot keep God's love away. Nothing will ever be able to separate us from the love God demonstrated by our Lord Jesus Christ when he died for us." (Romans 8:38-39)

Isn't it wonderful that in my powerless struggle to keep safe, not even my walls of doubt and separation can hold out the power of the promise of God's love? I had truly believed that He had abandoned me - even though I did not abandon Him. But the "common sense" of the world went from being nonsense to being the only sense I heard - and after buying into that foolishness, God came rushing in to save me... again!

Final Note

It turns out that Lesson 3 on "Hope" is still a little further away. I'm going to have to dive a little deeper to stop denying the pain and playing God to really work out the principle of admitting I am powerless and that my life has been unmanageable.

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